Imagine True Love

Ding, Ding, Ding….
“I would like to make a toast to the newly wed couple”

I say that and everybody looks at me and I am starting to think it twice because I may be actually in the process of embarrassing myself…. But you know I think it again and well it is worth the risk cause if there is no risk I guess there is no fun…

“Well I would love to request that ladies below the age of twenty eight gather on the left and ladies above that age on the right side of the hall and well as rude as it seems men are preferably to be seated at the back…”

The funny thing is everyone complies with my request, I guess they think I am starting a group game or something…. Whatever they think I am winning now that they are all where I want them to be….

I look at the 28-years and younger chicks group and I give them the Joey look and, “Hey, How are you doin?”

The bride suddenly starts, “I’m doin’ fine baby, I’m doin’ fine…”

The chicks are divided into groups now, some smiling, some laughing and I am looking at the bride as I say, “Hey you, you got your day, I wanna here that from the community of chicks….”

I am then stepping towards the crowd of chicks when I suddenly turn around and run back and grab the microphone again as I raise my glass half full of Soda (I don’t drink so soda is quite the optimal solution here) and say, “To the bride and groom, almost forgot that…”

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..
Umm……

Wait a second this is not how it started, this I not supposed to be about me and the chicks. It should be mainly about that I know, but this should be in some aspects about the bride and groom….

Well, dearly beloved we are gathered here today on this wonderful blog to make fun and have fun as we read my imagination of the wedding of a friend of mine, let us call her Sandy… Does that make it too obvious who I am talking about?

Well her Gogi groom seems like a very nice guy, it is apparent that they are both making each other happy, the look weird, I am above twenty eight years of age as you can see through my toast so I am probably not so much of a fan of marriage since I am still single and aiming at a million chicks… Seems like I never change…. I am always and for eternity quite the weirdo…. And being that weirdo I will not judge these two people for getting married… I will have my lips sealed and I will just smile…

The whole thing starts with me and the Raven at Cairo International Airport waiting in queue to get on board on our flight to Slovenia…. We are looking at every chick that passes by and assessing every part of her from head to boobs, to ass, to toes…. We are doing what we do second best following of course both successful and failed trials to hook up with as hot chicks as we can get and believe you me we get quite hot ones…

We get on board and the air hostesses are quite hospitable… I love those women a lot… Well basically not just those women…. I love them as in the whole gender…. I love them all….

Anyways we arrive at Ptuj, Slovenia and Sandy picks us up at the airport and drives us to the hotel where we are both gonna stay for the night and the next day we are to attend her wedding…. I think everyone knows for sure now that I am just imagining cause no woman would give a shit about guests arriving at the airport when it comes to her wedding being the very next day but I usually have high hopes when it is all still part of my imagination…. Real life differs in an annoying kind of way…. Probably a girly kind of way too…

However, the next day we are all gathered in a big hall, I am again checking all the chicks… The Raven is the wiser guy of course he is keeping his godfather look intact (Reference: Oblivion) and I keep losing that look every time there are a lot of chicks around…. I am weak and I am weird and I know it…. So I am checking out every chick and all of a sudden there is this music and every one turn around waiting for the bride to walk in so the Raven and I volunteer to sing along, “Here comes the car, Here comes the car…” That song has been agreed to like a couple of years to three years ago….

A minister, vows and a couple of rings and I hear a couple of I do-s and I shout, “I do too….” Every one turns to me and looks at me in such a way that tells me that there is nothing going on inside their heads except for, “Who the fuck is this weirdo?”

Inside my head I yell in reply, “I am the guest of honor people…”

The next thing I pull the groom towards the microphone and don’t worry people I am totally straight and I guess you already realized that when I started hitting on chicks since like forever… Now I have worked my way through getting him decided to sing a song for her, basically given the way they actually met and became what they are in the first place I guessed Bon Jovi’s, “You had me from Hello” was the most applicable…

I don’t know if his voice is great or not but well it is a risk we have to get; the bride has to be happy ’cause after all it is her day. Next in line is the Raven, he has promised to sing, I wish I could know if that shall be a huge embarrassment for him or for the groom who just sang but anyways it is a wedding so probably no one cares as long as they are dancing and as long as everything is all lovely and romantic…

The dude sings a couple of songs and some people (you know best men and the like) make a few toasts and there comes my turn… I make my toast… Well I will check the on the effect that this toast had as I am leaving… Will see how many numbers I shall get….

The bride seems happy, she keeps dancing and she actually almost slipped in the process, and that’s why you should never do weddings in some place with slippery floors, no one ever listens to my wisdom… The bride has that smile too that doesn’t only say she is excited but it also says she is grateful for everyone who participated in making her day that much fun….

Well as I leave I count the numbers I have got and they are a dozen, you see Sandy I have got the dozen I was talking about last night…. I got what I wanted….

The next thing I know I am in my bed in Cairo… The Raven calls me and tells me to get ready because we have to leave on our flight to Slovenia in a few hours… I wake up with that weird look of “What the fuck” on my face and then I realize that the entire thing was a dream….. “Give me my dozen girls and I will move the Earth,” says the Emperor….

Well screw the dozen….
And well here’s my real toast:
To Sandy and her future partner for life, you are both gonna be stuck together for eternity, be excited about it although I am making it seem scary….
To people who know the meaning of real love,
To the bigger love and the smaller diamonds (Reference: The Raven),
To the meaningful wedding and not just the high cost one (Reference: The Raven),
To a great friend, To miss PW,
To the car-to-be,
To the groom,
And to possibilities….

Their Misery… Your Fun…

Your friend’s misery although may usually require you chipping in a hand of help should always be your source of fun… What are friends for if we don’t love at those little miseries they get to face?

Plus you know that moment of trouble is worth being observed, maybe even worth being taped on video.

So, all my friends buy a video camera and start shooting every awful or embarrassing moment, I know I will enjoy watching it when I am around and well, I know you all care to see my smile…

The Sure Thing

Nothing is sure in this world, or that’s at least what I thought, nothing can be confirmed… Everything, good or bad comes and goes with time, everything. Money isn’t a sure thing, love isn’t, chicks aren’t, your marriage could go down hill and hit rock bottom, your job could be a pain in your ass.

There is a thin line between having nothing sure, nothing of meaning, nothing worth a shot and having one sure thing in your life. To me the one thing I guess could be sure is friendship, real and true friendship, that friendship you work on and develop to make it evolve into something real meaningful.

Tonight I started believing in that, tonight my best friend taught me a lesson about true and real friendship, tonight I knew that for one time in my life there is one right choice I have made throughout the past, tonight I knew I was always right to brag about having a friendship of almost 15 years that would never fail with time.

Tonight my best friend made me know I was always right about him, and made me confident that I someday will be able to make more right decisions and for that I am eternally grateful…

Thanks for a great friendship man… You made me proud…

(Dedicated to the Raven)

Absolutely Nothing

If you are busy and you have something better to do than check out this blog, then I advise you to turn around and go do it cause you are about to witness a post about nothing. This is a post about various and random statements I am about to make that apparently do not relate at all. If you don’t have anything better to do then read this but also you gotta see a therapist for that and try your best to get a life:

1. Last night, I watched the Lake House and apparently at some point in the movie I had a couple of tears. I don’t see why but apparently I am developing a freaking huge soft spot that shouldn’t be on me. I hate that.

1. Apparently Sandra Bullock is one of the best actresses to convince you of sadness when she looks all uncomfortable and her eyes are red and sad, didn’t know that, I used to think of Sandra Bullock as better at comedy.

1. Hate Keanu Reeves in most of his movies except for the Matrix and the Devil’s advocate and apparently I did love sweet November only for the sexy Charlize Therone yet I liked his acting in Lake House.

1. I tend to work a lot these days I only noticed today that I have had a bad headache for two weeks and I have done nothing about it and have not felt it being that horrible until I came to be really free and not for long.

1. I keep criticizing relationships and women in relationships and keep saying that I don’t wanna go into one ever again and wanna concentrate on my career which is my most important dream and yet when I dream of career I am thinking career that will make a wife and kids proud of me. Guess I want what I say I don’t want after all. Yet that does not mean that I will stop making fun of women and relationships just so you know and never come back telling me I contradict myself.

1. I lost an interview at a very great TV station for a consultative position, not because I don’t have the skills necessary.

Apparently, the feedback I got was, “He has the skills necessary to perform the job, he seems excellent at what he does. The problem is he was relaxed during the interview and so confident for someone being interviewed.”

Apparently this is always a problem, people want you to be scared like shit when you are proposing to parents or interviewing or whatever. They want your level of confidence to be zero. What if I know I a doing the right thing and what if that gets me all confident and relaxed. People are totally abnormal.

1. I tend to try to do everything perfectly to an extent that I get all tense when things don’t go as I expect.

1. I am so active and yet for some reason I feel so lazy. What is it that I have got to do in excess of what I do in order to feel really active and full of energy?

1. What really interests me most in women’s looks are their legs followed by the chest area which is weird, I guess usually people go the other way round.

1. I tend to act like an activist at times when I start talking about problems in Egypt and in the Arab world, but indeed I am not an activist it is just that whatever it is that is happening is what makes me for starters live away from Egypt in order to be able to make a better life and many other things in process. I also hate what is happening around me cause I love to see things in perfect shape. Being patriotic to me is about wanting to live a good life cause that would in the end lead to wanting to see a good surrounding environment and hence working for it.

1. I hate to criticize people directly so I always tend to mention my flaws before them in the conversation and work my way to mentioning their flaws from that point.

1. I believe love is not about finding the perfect person, it is about seeing an imperfect person perfectly, yet I think people shouldn’t abuse the fact that you have to see them perfectly by trying to act like total asses.

1. I have been a jerk in many relationships when I was younger and I honestly apologize for that and I know I seem like a nice guy but well, you become nice by starting off weird or so I believe.

1. I really believe I have to taste the sour to taste the sweet but it is getting so sour over here I am starting to believe the sweet doesn’t exist.

1. My eyes get filled with tears every time I think that someday I may wake up and my dad would be dead. I hope he has the longest life possible and I hope I do die before any of those I love and care for.

1. I am so addicted to sitcoms and comedy shows to the extent I have started lately to spend more time watching those on my free time and less time watching anything else.

1. I tend to be scared every time I walk into a new class to lecture a new batch of CMA candidates yet I act in total confidence I look them in the eye and when they ask about my age I tell them I am 26 like it is normal that everyone there would be 1.5 times my age.

1. I miss having my best friend around so badly I usually feel so lonely and unable to talk to anyone even though I may be surrounded by a lot of friends.

1. Sometimes I feel I had something on my mind and I keep trying to remember what it was although deep inside I am 100% confident I wasn’t thinking about anything and there was absolutely nothing on my mind.

1. I tend to worry a lot, I try my best to hide it and I succeed at most times and it is very hard to bottle up.

1. I act in arrogance or so people think I do although I am only overly confident, why shouldn’t I be?

1. I don’t believe I am that much of a good person like I claim to be.

I keep talking about the importance of hope although I usually feel I am never gonna make my dreams.

Real Friends

Two hands spread meeting at a common point to cherish life and to catch each other’s fall. One’s sorrows is the other’s sorrows, one’s tears is the other’s tears, and the happy day for one is a happy day for the other.

It is a pure form of love and care that real friends give each other, true friends, caring friends. It is like those friends run on the same power generator, like the same blood runs through their veins, like if one fails the other would.

It is that friendship that makes life worthwhile, it is that friendship that makes life an endless line of joys. A best friend is whom we treasure for the rest of our lives, is the owner who shares your best memories through childhood and through the endless fun of looking around, dreaming and sometimes hitting on girls around you. A real friend is the mirror that reflects your image, the one honest person around you who tells you you are at fault cause he cares not cause he wants to blame you and he never lies about it cause he does want your good and not just to have you around doing him favors. A real friend is simply not a hypocrite.

It is that friendship that you depend upon to face the tough and ready days cause even when life turns its back on you a best friend doesn’t.

A best friend is someone who would tell you your flaws and appreciate you for the good things, a best friend is that person you meet in your life once and you have the chance to keep that person as your friend for life or not…

This goes out to my best friend the Raven, I miss you man, the whole ordeal, the movies, the opinions, the fights, the dreams, the card games and most importantly hitting at the hot chicks at the next table at City Stars’ Food Court, those were the good old days……

Here is to friendship,
Here is to City Stars,
And here is to the hot chicks at the next table,
And here is to all the hot chicks everywhere,
And to possibilities……

June 28

My 25th birthday and well here goes a thank you note to many people out there:

My dad and mom, thanks for trying to teach me the best and trying to raise me to become a good and normal human being. I know I am weird yet I always hope I didn’t fail you both or fail your efforts but even if I did I know you always forgive me… Thanks for the love and the care. Thanks for everything.

My younger sister, thanks for always being my friend and the best person to understand me and be close when I need a hand.

To my brother, thanks for being all weird and shit, I love you man… And well your weirdness make me seem better, now that my dad observes your actions he thinks I was quite the angel when I was your age and believe me that was not his opinion back then,

To my youngest sister, I don’t know what to thank you for except for being this small tiny thing which you still are, I am more like a dad to you I guess given the size and age difference and I love that feeling, so maybe I should thank you for that.

The dearest and best of all my friends, Thanks for being there when I needed advice, when I tended to be so stupid and when you only wanted the best for me and for our friendship.

Thanks to that person who makes my day everyday…

To the guys back home, spending endless nights playing cards at ‘Dreams Café’ and ‘Le Louvre’ (Hope the spelling is right), well thanks for the card games and the funny jokes, those are what I call the good old days.

To my University group of friends I still kept till now, thanks for being there, it has always been and still is fun being around you all…

To the person who sent me my first birthday gift this year, thanks for the letter and the attachments you made my day and like you said it is the thought that counts, and well, how’re you doin’?

To the people at Informatics Dubai, I work with you and I feel like I am with family, thanks guys, it is always fun to see you all.

To my high school French Teacher, you are the best teacher I ever had to sit through a class for, really loved your class, learned a lot and well apparently forgot all that I have learnt back then but anyways I think you have always been the model for a good teacher who doesn’t o it just for the money but for the benefit of the student… So, thank you…

And well thanks Nancy for being so hot, you really make TV seem like a trip to heaven. This message would also be addressed to Haifa, and all the like…

To the selfish people I met throughout my life, thanks for teaching me that a month or even ten are not enough to know what a person is like, thanks for teaching me that I gotta filter the people I meet in the future…. And well you all sucked big time but well I am now thankful I met you because that makes me feel better about myself and makes me feel I am not just a good person but something more than good (When compared to you).

But more importantly before all these I gotta thank the creator of all, I gotta thank God for giving me all those people that I get to thank today… And for the countless blessings that have been bestowed upon me… I gotta thank God for the belief, the faith and the wonderful life.

And to all the people who made my life what it is today, it has been a great pleasure knowing you all, the good of you and the bad….

To Life,
To the cursed day, my birthday (Just kidding, it is a celebration for all),
To my friends,
To love and hope, faith and dreams, and to belief,
And to that possibility that all the future or at least most of it would be better,
To that possibility,
And to other possibilities,To all possibilities…