Ding, Ding, Ding….
“I would like to make a toast to the newly wed couple”
I say that and everybody looks at me and I am starting to think it twice because I may be actually in the process of embarrassing myself…. But you know I think it again and well it is worth the risk cause if there is no risk I guess there is no fun…
“Well I would love to request that ladies below the age of twenty eight gather on the left and ladies above that age on the right side of the hall and well as rude as it seems men are preferably to be seated at the back…”
The funny thing is everyone complies with my request, I guess they think I am starting a group game or something…. Whatever they think I am winning now that they are all where I want them to be….
I look at the 28-years and younger chicks group and I give them the Joey look and, “Hey, How are you doin?”
The bride suddenly starts, “I’m doin’ fine baby, I’m doin’ fine…”
The chicks are divided into groups now, some smiling, some laughing and I am looking at the bride as I say, “Hey you, you got your day, I wanna here that from the community of chicks….”
I am then stepping towards the crowd of chicks when I suddenly turn around and run back and grab the microphone again as I raise my glass half full of Soda (I don’t drink so soda is quite the optimal solution here) and say, “To the bride and groom, almost forgot that…”
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..
Umm……
Wait a second this is not how it started, this I not supposed to be about me and the chicks. It should be mainly about that I know, but this should be in some aspects about the bride and groom….
Well, dearly beloved we are gathered here today on this wonderful blog to make fun and have fun as we read my imagination of the wedding of a friend of mine, let us call her Sandy… Does that make it too obvious who I am talking about?
Well her Gogi groom seems like a very nice guy, it is apparent that they are both making each other happy, the look weird, I am above twenty eight years of age as you can see through my toast so I am probably not so much of a fan of marriage since I am still single and aiming at a million chicks… Seems like I never change…. I am always and for eternity quite the weirdo…. And being that weirdo I will not judge these two people for getting married… I will have my lips sealed and I will just smile…
The whole thing starts with me and the Raven at Cairo International Airport waiting in queue to get on board on our flight to Slovenia…. We are looking at every chick that passes by and assessing every part of her from head to boobs, to ass, to toes…. We are doing what we do second best following of course both successful and failed trials to hook up with as hot chicks as we can get and believe you me we get quite hot ones…
We get on board and the air hostesses are quite hospitable… I love those women a lot… Well basically not just those women…. I love them as in the whole gender…. I love them all….
Anyways we arrive at Ptuj, Slovenia and Sandy picks us up at the airport and drives us to the hotel where we are both gonna stay for the night and the next day we are to attend her wedding…. I think everyone knows for sure now that I am just imagining cause no woman would give a shit about guests arriving at the airport when it comes to her wedding being the very next day but I usually have high hopes when it is all still part of my imagination…. Real life differs in an annoying kind of way…. Probably a girly kind of way too…
However, the next day we are all gathered in a big hall, I am again checking all the chicks… The Raven is the wiser guy of course he is keeping his godfather look intact (Reference: Oblivion) and I keep losing that look every time there are a lot of chicks around…. I am weak and I am weird and I know it…. So I am checking out every chick and all of a sudden there is this music and every one turn around waiting for the bride to walk in so the Raven and I volunteer to sing along, “Here comes the car, Here comes the car…” That song has been agreed to like a couple of years to three years ago….
A minister, vows and a couple of rings and I hear a couple of I do-s and I shout, “I do too….” Every one turns to me and looks at me in such a way that tells me that there is nothing going on inside their heads except for, “Who the fuck is this weirdo?”
Inside my head I yell in reply, “I am the guest of honor people…”
The next thing I pull the groom towards the microphone and don’t worry people I am totally straight and I guess you already realized that when I started hitting on chicks since like forever… Now I have worked my way through getting him decided to sing a song for her, basically given the way they actually met and became what they are in the first place I guessed Bon Jovi’s, “You had me from Hello” was the most applicable…
I don’t know if his voice is great or not but well it is a risk we have to get; the bride has to be happy ’cause after all it is her day. Next in line is the Raven, he has promised to sing, I wish I could know if that shall be a huge embarrassment for him or for the groom who just sang but anyways it is a wedding so probably no one cares as long as they are dancing and as long as everything is all lovely and romantic…
The dude sings a couple of songs and some people (you know best men and the like) make a few toasts and there comes my turn… I make my toast… Well I will check the on the effect that this toast had as I am leaving… Will see how many numbers I shall get….
The bride seems happy, she keeps dancing and she actually almost slipped in the process, and that’s why you should never do weddings in some place with slippery floors, no one ever listens to my wisdom… The bride has that smile too that doesn’t only say she is excited but it also says she is grateful for everyone who participated in making her day that much fun….
Well as I leave I count the numbers I have got and they are a dozen, you see Sandy I have got the dozen I was talking about last night…. I got what I wanted….
The next thing I know I am in my bed in Cairo… The Raven calls me and tells me to get ready because we have to leave on our flight to Slovenia in a few hours… I wake up with that weird look of “What the fuck” on my face and then I realize that the entire thing was a dream….. “Give me my dozen girls and I will move the Earth,” says the Emperor….
Well screw the dozen….
And well here’s my real toast:
To Sandy and her future partner for life, you are both gonna be stuck together for eternity, be excited about it although I am making it seem scary….
To people who know the meaning of real love,
To the bigger love and the smaller diamonds (Reference: The Raven),
To the meaningful wedding and not just the high cost one (Reference: The Raven),
To a great friend, To miss PW,
To the car-to-be,
To the groom,
And to possibilities….
“I would like to make a toast to the newly wed couple”
I say that and everybody looks at me and I am starting to think it twice because I may be actually in the process of embarrassing myself…. But you know I think it again and well it is worth the risk cause if there is no risk I guess there is no fun…
“Well I would love to request that ladies below the age of twenty eight gather on the left and ladies above that age on the right side of the hall and well as rude as it seems men are preferably to be seated at the back…”
The funny thing is everyone complies with my request, I guess they think I am starting a group game or something…. Whatever they think I am winning now that they are all where I want them to be….
I look at the 28-years and younger chicks group and I give them the Joey look and, “Hey, How are you doin?”
The bride suddenly starts, “I’m doin’ fine baby, I’m doin’ fine…”
The chicks are divided into groups now, some smiling, some laughing and I am looking at the bride as I say, “Hey you, you got your day, I wanna here that from the community of chicks….”
I am then stepping towards the crowd of chicks when I suddenly turn around and run back and grab the microphone again as I raise my glass half full of Soda (I don’t drink so soda is quite the optimal solution here) and say, “To the bride and groom, almost forgot that…”
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..
Umm……
Wait a second this is not how it started, this I not supposed to be about me and the chicks. It should be mainly about that I know, but this should be in some aspects about the bride and groom….
Well, dearly beloved we are gathered here today on this wonderful blog to make fun and have fun as we read my imagination of the wedding of a friend of mine, let us call her Sandy… Does that make it too obvious who I am talking about?
Well her Gogi groom seems like a very nice guy, it is apparent that they are both making each other happy, the look weird, I am above twenty eight years of age as you can see through my toast so I am probably not so much of a fan of marriage since I am still single and aiming at a million chicks… Seems like I never change…. I am always and for eternity quite the weirdo…. And being that weirdo I will not judge these two people for getting married… I will have my lips sealed and I will just smile…
The whole thing starts with me and the Raven at Cairo International Airport waiting in queue to get on board on our flight to Slovenia…. We are looking at every chick that passes by and assessing every part of her from head to boobs, to ass, to toes…. We are doing what we do second best following of course both successful and failed trials to hook up with as hot chicks as we can get and believe you me we get quite hot ones…
We get on board and the air hostesses are quite hospitable… I love those women a lot… Well basically not just those women…. I love them as in the whole gender…. I love them all….
Anyways we arrive at Ptuj, Slovenia and Sandy picks us up at the airport and drives us to the hotel where we are both gonna stay for the night and the next day we are to attend her wedding…. I think everyone knows for sure now that I am just imagining cause no woman would give a shit about guests arriving at the airport when it comes to her wedding being the very next day but I usually have high hopes when it is all still part of my imagination…. Real life differs in an annoying kind of way…. Probably a girly kind of way too…
However, the next day we are all gathered in a big hall, I am again checking all the chicks… The Raven is the wiser guy of course he is keeping his godfather look intact (Reference: Oblivion) and I keep losing that look every time there are a lot of chicks around…. I am weak and I am weird and I know it…. So I am checking out every chick and all of a sudden there is this music and every one turn around waiting for the bride to walk in so the Raven and I volunteer to sing along, “Here comes the car, Here comes the car…” That song has been agreed to like a couple of years to three years ago….
A minister, vows and a couple of rings and I hear a couple of I do-s and I shout, “I do too….” Every one turns to me and looks at me in such a way that tells me that there is nothing going on inside their heads except for, “Who the fuck is this weirdo?”
Inside my head I yell in reply, “I am the guest of honor people…”
The next thing I pull the groom towards the microphone and don’t worry people I am totally straight and I guess you already realized that when I started hitting on chicks since like forever… Now I have worked my way through getting him decided to sing a song for her, basically given the way they actually met and became what they are in the first place I guessed Bon Jovi’s, “You had me from Hello” was the most applicable…
I don’t know if his voice is great or not but well it is a risk we have to get; the bride has to be happy ’cause after all it is her day. Next in line is the Raven, he has promised to sing, I wish I could know if that shall be a huge embarrassment for him or for the groom who just sang but anyways it is a wedding so probably no one cares as long as they are dancing and as long as everything is all lovely and romantic…
The dude sings a couple of songs and some people (you know best men and the like) make a few toasts and there comes my turn… I make my toast… Well I will check the on the effect that this toast had as I am leaving… Will see how many numbers I shall get….
The bride seems happy, she keeps dancing and she actually almost slipped in the process, and that’s why you should never do weddings in some place with slippery floors, no one ever listens to my wisdom… The bride has that smile too that doesn’t only say she is excited but it also says she is grateful for everyone who participated in making her day that much fun….
Well as I leave I count the numbers I have got and they are a dozen, you see Sandy I have got the dozen I was talking about last night…. I got what I wanted….
The next thing I know I am in my bed in Cairo… The Raven calls me and tells me to get ready because we have to leave on our flight to Slovenia in a few hours… I wake up with that weird look of “What the fuck” on my face and then I realize that the entire thing was a dream….. “Give me my dozen girls and I will move the Earth,” says the Emperor….
Well screw the dozen….
And well here’s my real toast:
To Sandy and her future partner for life, you are both gonna be stuck together for eternity, be excited about it although I am making it seem scary….
To people who know the meaning of real love,
To the bigger love and the smaller diamonds (Reference: The Raven),
To the meaningful wedding and not just the high cost one (Reference: The Raven),
To a great friend, To miss PW,
To the car-to-be,
To the groom,
And to possibilities….
