Imagine True Love

Ding, Ding, Ding….
“I would like to make a toast to the newly wed couple”

I say that and everybody looks at me and I am starting to think it twice because I may be actually in the process of embarrassing myself…. But you know I think it again and well it is worth the risk cause if there is no risk I guess there is no fun…

“Well I would love to request that ladies below the age of twenty eight gather on the left and ladies above that age on the right side of the hall and well as rude as it seems men are preferably to be seated at the back…”

The funny thing is everyone complies with my request, I guess they think I am starting a group game or something…. Whatever they think I am winning now that they are all where I want them to be….

I look at the 28-years and younger chicks group and I give them the Joey look and, “Hey, How are you doin?”

The bride suddenly starts, “I’m doin’ fine baby, I’m doin’ fine…”

The chicks are divided into groups now, some smiling, some laughing and I am looking at the bride as I say, “Hey you, you got your day, I wanna here that from the community of chicks….”

I am then stepping towards the crowd of chicks when I suddenly turn around and run back and grab the microphone again as I raise my glass half full of Soda (I don’t drink so soda is quite the optimal solution here) and say, “To the bride and groom, almost forgot that…”

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..
Umm……

Wait a second this is not how it started, this I not supposed to be about me and the chicks. It should be mainly about that I know, but this should be in some aspects about the bride and groom….

Well, dearly beloved we are gathered here today on this wonderful blog to make fun and have fun as we read my imagination of the wedding of a friend of mine, let us call her Sandy… Does that make it too obvious who I am talking about?

Well her Gogi groom seems like a very nice guy, it is apparent that they are both making each other happy, the look weird, I am above twenty eight years of age as you can see through my toast so I am probably not so much of a fan of marriage since I am still single and aiming at a million chicks… Seems like I never change…. I am always and for eternity quite the weirdo…. And being that weirdo I will not judge these two people for getting married… I will have my lips sealed and I will just smile…

The whole thing starts with me and the Raven at Cairo International Airport waiting in queue to get on board on our flight to Slovenia…. We are looking at every chick that passes by and assessing every part of her from head to boobs, to ass, to toes…. We are doing what we do second best following of course both successful and failed trials to hook up with as hot chicks as we can get and believe you me we get quite hot ones…

We get on board and the air hostesses are quite hospitable… I love those women a lot… Well basically not just those women…. I love them as in the whole gender…. I love them all….

Anyways we arrive at Ptuj, Slovenia and Sandy picks us up at the airport and drives us to the hotel where we are both gonna stay for the night and the next day we are to attend her wedding…. I think everyone knows for sure now that I am just imagining cause no woman would give a shit about guests arriving at the airport when it comes to her wedding being the very next day but I usually have high hopes when it is all still part of my imagination…. Real life differs in an annoying kind of way…. Probably a girly kind of way too…

However, the next day we are all gathered in a big hall, I am again checking all the chicks… The Raven is the wiser guy of course he is keeping his godfather look intact (Reference: Oblivion) and I keep losing that look every time there are a lot of chicks around…. I am weak and I am weird and I know it…. So I am checking out every chick and all of a sudden there is this music and every one turn around waiting for the bride to walk in so the Raven and I volunteer to sing along, “Here comes the car, Here comes the car…” That song has been agreed to like a couple of years to three years ago….

A minister, vows and a couple of rings and I hear a couple of I do-s and I shout, “I do too….” Every one turns to me and looks at me in such a way that tells me that there is nothing going on inside their heads except for, “Who the fuck is this weirdo?”

Inside my head I yell in reply, “I am the guest of honor people…”

The next thing I pull the groom towards the microphone and don’t worry people I am totally straight and I guess you already realized that when I started hitting on chicks since like forever… Now I have worked my way through getting him decided to sing a song for her, basically given the way they actually met and became what they are in the first place I guessed Bon Jovi’s, “You had me from Hello” was the most applicable…

I don’t know if his voice is great or not but well it is a risk we have to get; the bride has to be happy ’cause after all it is her day. Next in line is the Raven, he has promised to sing, I wish I could know if that shall be a huge embarrassment for him or for the groom who just sang but anyways it is a wedding so probably no one cares as long as they are dancing and as long as everything is all lovely and romantic…

The dude sings a couple of songs and some people (you know best men and the like) make a few toasts and there comes my turn… I make my toast… Well I will check the on the effect that this toast had as I am leaving… Will see how many numbers I shall get….

The bride seems happy, she keeps dancing and she actually almost slipped in the process, and that’s why you should never do weddings in some place with slippery floors, no one ever listens to my wisdom… The bride has that smile too that doesn’t only say she is excited but it also says she is grateful for everyone who participated in making her day that much fun….

Well as I leave I count the numbers I have got and they are a dozen, you see Sandy I have got the dozen I was talking about last night…. I got what I wanted….

The next thing I know I am in my bed in Cairo… The Raven calls me and tells me to get ready because we have to leave on our flight to Slovenia in a few hours… I wake up with that weird look of “What the fuck” on my face and then I realize that the entire thing was a dream….. “Give me my dozen girls and I will move the Earth,” says the Emperor….

Well screw the dozen….
And well here’s my real toast:
To Sandy and her future partner for life, you are both gonna be stuck together for eternity, be excited about it although I am making it seem scary….
To people who know the meaning of real love,
To the bigger love and the smaller diamonds (Reference: The Raven),
To the meaningful wedding and not just the high cost one (Reference: The Raven),
To a great friend, To miss PW,
To the car-to-be,
To the groom,
And to possibilities….

I Tag Me

The Raven has been tagged by Arima and has left the tag open wondering where the big fat tag chain would go to. Well here I am tagging myself, informing everyone about my favorites:

1. Coffee & Cigarettes.

1. Taking a challenge and fighting my way towards achievement. If I fail I try again. I know something good shall always come around some where along the road. I just need to keep myself interested in the challenge and never giving up.

1. Hanging out with my best friend.

1. Reading.

1. Blogging and well writing in general.

1. Listening to classical music.

1. Watching a funny sitcom.

1. Watching a good, well-acted movie.

1. Entertaining babies and kids (Yeah, I am a child deep inside).

1. As geeky as it seems, shopping for computer shit.

1. Studying.

1. Lecturing in an institute.

1. Spending the summer in Alexandria or the Northern Coast.

1. Spending the winter in Cairo.

1. Spending time with my family.

1. Enjoying a good home-made meal, surrounded by family or friends.

1. Arguing various opinions with people, especially close ones.

(I know I went beyond 15, so if I wanna take off my two least favorite things then they would be 10 and 11).

My Favorites Dramas

Stated here are my favorite movies in the drama genre. They are also must see recommendations I make, in case you didn’t watch them.

My favorite Dramas of all time in order of preference:

1. The Godfather: Part III (1990)

All the power on earth can’t change destiny.

1. The Godfather: Part I (1972)

It’s Not Personal, It’s Strictly Business.

Real power can’t be given. It must be taken.

1. The Godfather: Part II (1974)

1. Legends Of The Fall (1994)

The men of the Ludlow family. A woman’s grace brought them together. Then her passion tore them apart.

1. Once Upon A Time In America (1984)

As boys, they made a pact to share their fortunes, their loves, their lives. As men, they shared a dream to rise from poverty to power. Forging an empire built on greed, violence and betrayal, their dream would end as a mystery that refuse to die.

1. Carlito’s Way (1993)

Favor gonna kill you faster than a bullet.

1. Meet Joe Black (1998)

Sooner or Later Everyone Does.

1. Phenomenon (1996)

Some things in life just can’t be explained.

1. Scent Of A Woman (1992)

Col. Frank Slade has a very special plan for the weekend. It involves travel, women, good food, fine wine, the tango, chauffeured limousines and a loaded forty-five. And he’s bringing Charlie along for the ride.

1. A Few Good Men (1992)

You don’t need a patch on your arm to have honor.

1. Les Miserables (1998)

The Legend Comes To Life

1. Dances With Wolves (1990)

Inside everyone is a frontier waiting to be discovered.

1. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.

1. The Family Man (2000)

What if you made different choices? What if you said yes, instead of no? What if you got a second chance?

1. Memento (2000)

Some memories are best forgotten.

1. The Emperor’s Club (2002)

In everyone’s life there’s that one person who makes all the difference.

1. Jerry Maguire (1996)

Show Me The Money!

1. The Merchant Of Venice (2004)

Love is Blind!

1. Pay It Forward (2000)

#1 – It has to be something that really helps people.

#2 – Something they can’t do by themselves.

#3 – I do it for them, they do it for three other people.

These are the rules when you pay it forward

1. The Postman (1997)

It is 2013. War has crippled the Earth. Technology has been erased. Our only hope is an unlikely hero.

1. The Green Mile (1999)

Paul Edgecomb didn’t believe in miracles. Until the day he met one.

1. Crash (2004)

You think you know who you are. You have no idea.

1. Tape (2001)

Some things can’t be erased.

1. Scarface (1983)

In the spring of 1980 the port at Mariel Harbor was opened, and thousands set sail for the United States. They came in search of the American Dream. One of them found it on the sun washed avenues of Miami… wealth, power and passion beyond his wildest dreams. He was Tony Montana but the world will remember him by another name… Scarface.

1. Patch Adams (1998)

Laughter is contagious.

Where? When? How?

Today I got some funny work related news. I have grown up the tendency to call things funny these days and laugh at each single one of them rather than name situations annoying or uncomfortable. That way I get to keep the laughs and lose the sleepless nights in which I keep turning on my bed thinking of this and that. I am better off sleeping like a baby, and well some say that I act like a baby at many instances so, baby it is… I am keeping that kid in me. He is good.

Anyways, all the daily events in my life get me to think of one thing and well that one thing leads to a single question:

Where is my life going?

I mean come on, I have those big dreams, I still hope I would get to them, but if all the signs smile in victory upon me telling me that I am getting no where then I am afraid I will have to lose them sometime. Well, hope I don’t.

The problem with questioning your life is one simple question leads to zillion unanswerable questions in your head. A question as simple as, “Where is my life going,” triggers questions like:

- When will I get the job of my dreams? More importantly, when will I start my own business?

- When will I find a deserving girl to spend a life time with? Is she already here? Did I already meet her and get consumed with my own self and not see it.

- When will I hold my first child in my hands and make my parents happy for having a grandchild? And more importantly, will I ever have that kid? Will I give my kids the names I wanted to give them? Will they fail me? Will I fail them?

- Will I ever look back at today and smile and call myself stupid for thinking I could lose my dreams?

- Why am I still this far away from achieving those dreams of mine?

Today I was invited for breakfast at a friend’s. His wife is a great cook, I love المحشي and that was some great tasty “ma7shi,” I gotta say I loved the food a lot. I then held his one year old baby. I have a connection with kids, they always laugh and I always fiddle with my keys and that is enough to make them laugh, even when someone else around me does it, the baby wouldn’t perceive it as funny. I give the sound effects. I am nice.

Here is the fun thing, I put a cigarette in the kid’s mouth (unlighted) of course and took multiple pictures, and to be honest these are some of the cutest baby pictures you will ever see, just like the ones you get in forwards. I am an artist when it comes to being all parental and caring with kids. My nature, sue me. Even better, find me a kid to adopt.

And No One Believes You Until They Try

A few weeks ago I was doing some work for a real estate company that comes under one of the many entities we have to work with in consultations and auditing and some other special assignments. Anyways I got really pissed at the finance manager/idiot over there, I was asked to stop working on that assignment and someone else started handling it while I was assigned something else.

All that being said, I was already asking for it and wanting it, nothing of all that was less than what I actually wanted, all nice all great, I was asking to be off that assignment for long, I mean come on dealing with ignorant people is one thing, but dealing with ignorance itself and combined with arrogance, now that is something I really can’t take.

Anyways when I got back to the office I was criticized by my manager, actually by everyone for my attitude towards the people over there and was accused of being unable to handle people by a manager who does not know how to handle his very own self when he is angry but well I took it in and let it go. You see I can be calm, given I was told that I am off the assignment before the blame assessment started.

Well since I am posting this on fun trip, there should be a fun twist, here it comes, today my manager got really pissed over the phone at the same guy, the same finance manager and he spoke in rage. I mean come on what kind of idiot asks you for reasons for requiring documents for audit when the audit charter stipulates that as an internal auditor and consultant you have got the right to access any documents at any time you wish. Even better, you are allowed to walk in on any meetings and sit and listen to whatever that is said and even interfere and discuss.

Well I laughed, my manager knew I was laughing at the situation and he said:

“You were right, they are freaks.”

There is no better feeling than that tickle when you hear the words you are right.

Well, given my obsession with Frasier, it is funny when they cut you off radio air just after you say:

“People who know me best will be surprised to know, I am not a man”

That should have been: “I am not a man who betrays his principles.”

Anyhow, this is just another fun drive in the trip. I hope it stays fun; that laugh is what keeps things running good and fine.

The Sure Thing

Nothing is sure in this world, or that’s at least what I thought, nothing can be confirmed… Everything, good or bad comes and goes with time, everything. Money isn’t a sure thing, love isn’t, chicks aren’t, your marriage could go down hill and hit rock bottom, your job could be a pain in your ass.

There is a thin line between having nothing sure, nothing of meaning, nothing worth a shot and having one sure thing in your life. To me the one thing I guess could be sure is friendship, real and true friendship, that friendship you work on and develop to make it evolve into something real meaningful.

Tonight I started believing in that, tonight my best friend taught me a lesson about true and real friendship, tonight I knew that for one time in my life there is one right choice I have made throughout the past, tonight I knew I was always right to brag about having a friendship of almost 15 years that would never fail with time.

Tonight my best friend made me know I was always right about him, and made me confident that I someday will be able to make more right decisions and for that I am eternally grateful…

Thanks for a great friendship man… You made me proud…

(Dedicated to the Raven)

Blog… Blog… Blog…

Although it is pretty interesting how I keep blogging, and how I love to do so, many people have been complaining of my too many blogs and too many entries that keep flooding the place every single day and that is when I decided to write a couple of posts relating to the whole Laila revolution that still doesn’t seem any good to me, but anyways, I have been bottling up a lot of topics and today I am going back to flooding this place with blog entries… I am an addict and I can’t stop typing… So, Umm… Sue Me…

Blog… Blog… Blog…

C’est Ma Vie… And I love it…

Break My Chains

For how long will I keep waiting for a change?

For how long will I want to fall in love and never get there?

For how long will I wait for your eyes to come by, your smile to shine through, your love to wrap my life?

For how long will I see you in my dreams, want you in my days and search for you every step I walk?

For how long will I accept my losses, hope for the gains and profits, wish for a ray of light to shine over my life?

For how long will I have my fears, wait for the moment I could break the chains around my neck, my arms and my feet and march forward for the better life I want?

For how long will I keep asking this question? For how long will I hear myself saying ‘for how long’?

A Matter Of Time

Lately I have developed this ability to be patient in situations I used to be unable to bear or take. I grew an ability to wait for the better, sort of a sixth sense that helps me know the better is coming at some point or the other, to know that somewhere and somehow I will get to my dreams, I will get what I have been waiting to find and get. It’s all about timing…

Everything changes with the passage of time, what you thought you couldn’t achieve, that thing you have been waiting for, it becomes achievable, and those destinations you couldn’t get to become reachable. Everything changes. At one point you are lost and thinking all the roads have been blocked and at the next moment you see your way amidst the fogs of life, a road you could go through to your destination and that is when you realize all you needed was patience.

Life is not about how long we lived, that is not sufficient to get us to lose hope; life is about those moments that take our breath away. How many of those have we been through?

Time is running so let’s enjoy those moments that take our breath as much as we could… The time has come to defend our lives and let the light come through, through a ray of hope…

My Big Fat Guilty Conscience

For some reason I have a very aware conscience on me, one that sadly does not sleep, it may takes naps but comes back to haunt me. Sometimes, you can live your life with a great ability let things slip away. Some people may have their own principles, may have their very own rules that they always abide by, yet for some reason they may bend them sometimes for the glamour and brightness of what they don’t have or couldn’t get or so they think.

Sometimes I let go, I let it sleep… And oh the torture I feel later. The conscience I think slept was only taking a nap, tricking me into believing I could get away with my faults, I could run away with my mistakes. That damn conscience makes me sit at night and wonder, makes me teary and humble cause it lets me see myself in a bloody mirror that shows my true complexion, a mirror that shows me how I look like without the artificiality I may try to put on to seem a better person.

That conscience haunts me during the day and wakes me up at night. It asks me questions, interrogates me and it keeps warning me of letting the waves drift me away to places I know I would never wanna go to yet I am attracted by the adventure, by the risk I could take.

My big fat guilty conscience is like a man trying to lose weight, and the weight on mine has been caused by the guilt that keeps forming. Sometimes I wanna shoot it down, let it rest in peace and leave me in peace, but then I know I still want it here, as much as the truth may hurt and as much as I may feel like I have failed myself, I know I want it here with me, I want it to tag along everywhere I go, I wanna be saved and I wanna repent of all my faults and mistakes, wash away my sins whenever I know of them and start over new.

Oh my guilty conscience, either leave me alone and die or stay here but always stay awake and never nap away…