Welcome to my Hollywood, welcome to a place where a script I write now turns you into a movie star with lots of fans and shit loads of green. Do you remember Cuba Gooding Jr. in ‘Jerry Maguire’? Remember that scene where Cuba Gooding Jr. yells “Show me the green”? Now if you imagine the following scenes in your head the way they are meant to be imagined you are gonna know that they are no less good for a motion picture than ‘Jerry Maguire’ or maybe even ‘The Godfather’ and ‘Once Upon A Time In America’, these being my two favorites of all times.
The following movie is classified under the genres of Romance, Thrillers, War and Horror if you care to know in advance.
Unfortunately we have tried to modify the following motion picture from its original version in order that it fits your TV screen but failed since modifying it in that sense would actually lead to having no movie at hand.
This movie is rated ‘R’ for extreme Gore and Violence and both partial and full nudity of men, women and children.
Segment ‘1’: Home Is Where My Kids Play Around:
Credits:
You are Yourself
She (He) is Your Wife (Husband)
He is Your Four Years Old Son
She is your 16 years old Daughter
A Second He is your 20 years old Son
A Second She is your eldest Daughter (23 years old)
Segment Scenario:
You have come home after a long day of work, you are exhausted but the looks and smiles of your kids are making your day feel much better, in fact a lot better. As you walk in you shout in your usual joyful tone, ‘Honey I am home’ and your wife answers back as she walk towards you, ‘And I have been waiting for you the whole day’. She gives you a peck when your eldest daughter walks in and smiles seeing his two parents so in love after 24 years of marriage with their ups and downs. The ups were great, who would ever hate the ups and well the downs, they all ended in victory of love and faith in this relationship that yielded these four fruits and apples of your eyes.
Allow me to introduce the rest of the cast to you; you wouldn’t care to know who the actors and actresses are as much as you would care to know what roles they play in the magnificent motion picture and remember you have got to do your best in this role, you are the lead and if you do well, we have great chances with the rest.
Your 23 years old daughter is your first born; born one year after your marriage to your wife she brought a great joy to your life. Well you are now 50 and seems like you have got married quite young but you have never regretted it for a second or did you? I don’t think so, if I say you are happy then you stick to the Screen Play. I am the writer and I am the director here. Well your eldest daughter is getting married in a few days and you are very sad she is leaving of course, you will miss your first born around. You have a Steve Martin, father of the bride kind of feeling. Well, hope your wife is a Diane Keaton, a Young Diane Keaton.
Your second born was a boy, he is 20 years old and almost graduated from the university and you know he is gonna make you proud when he graduates to become the doctor he always wanted to be and you well always wished he would be too.
Your third is a daughter in High School, she gets great grades every single year and you know she is gonna make it great this year and she is gonna make it through to join the faculty of Engineering and graduate a telecommunication engineer, like she dreams.
Finally, a four years old son is just starting his naughty days, you know those days in which you love him when he is asleep and you keep kissing his cheeks and feel a little bit like kicking him when he is awake but at the end of the day he is your son you can’t put him on sale, plus no one is gonna buy and you know it…
You all gather at the dinner table, you are living the Steve Martin role, you could never imagine someone is gonna take away your daughter but you have to understand and you are starting to and suddenly out of no where you all hear a weird sound outside your house. And as you walk towards the door a few armed bandits rush in and they open fire at everyone including yourself. You all fall down.
A couple of days later you wake up wrapped in a lot of whatever medical bullshit and having glucose and blood injected into you through those hanging thingies with bags of whatever your body needs and you ask about your wife and kids…
The last you remember is seeing them all bleeding after they have all been shot. And now you get the news, they are all dead, they were dead at gun point, why do they call it gun point, why wouldn’t they call it fucking death point?
Segment ‘2’: TV Time:
Credits:
You are Yourself
Also starring other characters on your 61” TV
Segment Scenario:
You have just finished watching your favorite hockey team win a match. You loved it, your team rocks mate. But what after watching that match, you are now suffering the never ending boredom of having free time, and you know not how to invest such extra time.
You start switching channels, nice thing you have done there, organized TV channels, you know it is exactly like organized crime, you know, the Music Channels, the Entertainment Channels, the Sports Channels, The Porn – Hmm, Grr, Entertainment Channels again I mean, and then some Scientific and Educational Channels and then finally the News Channels.
You go through them all and you settle at the news… That hot weather chick is looking nice today, great teddies, lovely miniskirt, you wish you could see her in a two piece swimming suit (wonder why they still call it that though, it is called a bikini anyways) and well you wish you would be dating her right now, don’t you?
You switch to another news channel and there it is, a local news channel where you hear a news reporter say, “Today in an unusual turn of political events, the X-fucking country had named our civilization a civilization of terrorists and has given our government a period of one month within which the government should give in and give up all our nation’s resources or else they shall be invading our lands and they shall be attacking severely”.
What the hell do these people want? You start thinking of what you jus heard on TV, all you do in your life is work, hangout with friends, watch hockey teams and occasionally have a girlfriend who dumps you usually only on the second date. Your father was nothing different than you are except that he was stuck with a date for life with your mother, kind of a fate thingy that he couldn’t ever get out of.
You keep wondering through the night how life will be when the invasion comes. You are scared to death I have to say and anyone can see it in your eyes. You try to sleep and you succeed not because you are peaceful and trouble-less (Call that a word) but because you need to sleep cause you know sometime soon, the sound of a war right in your home will make you lose sleep and probably forever.
Segment ‘3’: The Wedding:
Credits:
You are Yourself
She (He) is Your Bride (Groom)
He is Your Father
Another She is Your Mother
They are your Brothers and Sisters
Another Group are your Friends
Segment Scenario:
Imagine it is your wedding day, you just said I do, and you are walking down the aisle so happy along with your bride. You are moving around with her. She looks at you with that smile that tells you, that you are gonna be happy ever after with her and that nothing can ever change that. You keep moving around the place and people keep congratulating you. Everyone is celebrating your biggest victory; making a life for yourself that hopefully shall last until death do you part…
You keep moving around and she walks up to you and whispers in your ears, “I love you,” and you feel the world is dancing in joy for your joy, you feel like kissing her but you are just so embarrassed to be all kissing and shit as if you are a horny bastard but you then remember that not kissing her right at that moment is not that much of a problem cause you are just starting a life time of kissing. You look at her like you are telling her tonight will be a crazy night full of kissing, maybe not just kissing, but more…
All that is happening, when suddenly you hear the sound of planes covering over the sound of the music in your wedding and then you hear bombing somewhere close. Everyone starts to panic and you run around to grab your parents and family after you agree with the wife you just married to meet you at the exit after she has found her family members amidst all that panic…
You run around and suddenly the bombs hit the place and everything falls apart and you manage somehow to escape the fate and run out of the place. You fall unconscious on the ground and when you come back from your unintended sleep you find your family, your bride’s family and your bride dead… Your bride has lost her wedding dress, she is nude, and the wedding dress has been partially burnt and partially torn apart by the bombing…
Your family members have been burnt down into ashes like they are some kind of tobacco or something, and well the lucky ones are your friends who have been disfigured where they stood in you wedding You sit there and you cry in pain, you have lost the family that was and the family that would have been. You look up at the sky and wish you were dead. And that’s where your staring role ends.
The End
Now since I believe that every movie should have a message to deliver and a lesson to teach what do you think the lesson learnt from this Segment of our movie should be?
- Should it be something like ‘Never invite too many people to your fucking wedding because it is harder to escape if it gets fucking bombed’?
I think this would be a funny one, so if we are gonna use it we need to add the Comedy Genre to this movie’s categories.
- Should it be if someone slaps you, turn your other fucking cheek to him?
That would be so fucking stupid and ignorant I guess cause if someone slaps me I slap back and I slap hard, and if he slaps again then it would seem like he didn’t learn and I would fuck his life up for as long as he lives.
- Should it be never let your rights go, and never be weak to allow someone to attack you all of a sudden and take you by surprise on your wedding day or any other day for all that matter?
I guess that could be the one, or one of many.
- Should it be “Imagine yourself in place of the people who lose their families everyday in places like Lebanon and then you will fucking know what I am talking about and you will feel their pain and you will start becoming more human and understanding that countries like the terrorizing & inhumane Israel and its supporting United States Government are nothing but pigs who just eat filth and love to feed and live on that kind of filth and nothing more?”
I guess that is another lesson good enough.
I think the last two morals should slide into the screen as morals for our movie and then the credits for this segment should come down signifying the end of a Segment and well the end of the entire movie.
Well I am sorry, but you will never star in this movie, and you will not see the green and you will never get rich. Some movie association has stopped us from shooting this movie as a result of its content. No, it wasn’t the gore, and no, not the intense war sequences, and no, not the nudity, and no, nothing of what you think led to their stopping us from shooting the movie. This movie has not been shot because they need us silenced; because they need to feed us their bullshit and they need to have us hypnotized at all times only believing them and only listening to their lies. This is the fundamental reason.
Yeah I have written a screenplay and yeah I have lost time getting it all ready and yeah, it means a lot to me to have this work but I knew I would fail, and also who else in this world gives a rat’s ass about my movie?
And I know I promised you a great role, I promised you fame, but if governments promise you peace and fail and if they promise you democracy and lie, and if they convince you that things that never existed actually existed and things that never happened actually happened and if they convince you that the culprits in every crime are the people who resemble the enemy of the real culprits and if they convince you that Nazis are Victims and that black is white, will you blame me for not giving you your lead role and your movie… Blame me if you want to, I already gave up on you all since long ago…
(Note: The movie you just watched and/or starred in is based on true events and incidents in countries you may have visited or not, resided in or not, in countries and with humans you may or may not care about. Please be advised that whatever the end of this movie seemed like, this shall never be the end, no one shall lose his/her rights forever. Those people who had been building up the hatred of those they attack shall suffer the fury of their victims and the rage shall be uncontainable and the day shall come when every drop of blood of a woman or old person and every tear of a child or mother shall be paid for in full and in equivalents).