Evolution

The Baby:

- He was born, he was staring at the weird world around him, everyone started giving him the usual pick-a-boos and they all called him cute. He used to cry and know the value of tears.

The Child:

- He was four; he used to cry if something even a drop of milk touched his clothes. He didn’t know that the world is all dirt out there.

- He was six and he went to school and he started looking at other kids and wanted everything the other kids had, even of he had more.

- He was twelve and he hit puberty and he started hitting on each and every girl down the road.

The Teenager:

- He started falling in love and thinking he has found the real thing. Still absorbed in a mix of childish and manly feelings and thoughts.

The Man:

- He is confused.

القوي

قال علي ابن أبي طالب:

“القوي هو من يستطيع الاستغناء عن الناس”

No, Thank You

First of all, you gotta watch the movie, “Thank You For Smoking.”

It is pretty interesting and pretty funny.

And well, you’re welcome, thank you for providing me with the smoke and keep the supply coming.

Just For Laughs

The moon may kiss the stars so high;

The sun may kiss the bright blue sky;

The dew may kiss the morning grass;

But you my friend, can kiss my ass.

Poetic, isn’t it?

Where? When? How?

Today I got some funny work related news. I have grown up the tendency to call things funny these days and laugh at each single one of them rather than name situations annoying or uncomfortable. That way I get to keep the laughs and lose the sleepless nights in which I keep turning on my bed thinking of this and that. I am better off sleeping like a baby, and well some say that I act like a baby at many instances so, baby it is… I am keeping that kid in me. He is good.

Anyways, all the daily events in my life get me to think of one thing and well that one thing leads to a single question:

Where is my life going?

I mean come on, I have those big dreams, I still hope I would get to them, but if all the signs smile in victory upon me telling me that I am getting no where then I am afraid I will have to lose them sometime. Well, hope I don’t.

The problem with questioning your life is one simple question leads to zillion unanswerable questions in your head. A question as simple as, “Where is my life going,” triggers questions like:

- When will I get the job of my dreams? More importantly, when will I start my own business?

- When will I find a deserving girl to spend a life time with? Is she already here? Did I already meet her and get consumed with my own self and not see it.

- When will I hold my first child in my hands and make my parents happy for having a grandchild? And more importantly, will I ever have that kid? Will I give my kids the names I wanted to give them? Will they fail me? Will I fail them?

- Will I ever look back at today and smile and call myself stupid for thinking I could lose my dreams?

- Why am I still this far away from achieving those dreams of mine?

Today I was invited for breakfast at a friend’s. His wife is a great cook, I love المحشي and that was some great tasty “ma7shi,” I gotta say I loved the food a lot. I then held his one year old baby. I have a connection with kids, they always laugh and I always fiddle with my keys and that is enough to make them laugh, even when someone else around me does it, the baby wouldn’t perceive it as funny. I give the sound effects. I am nice.

Here is the fun thing, I put a cigarette in the kid’s mouth (unlighted) of course and took multiple pictures, and to be honest these are some of the cutest baby pictures you will ever see, just like the ones you get in forwards. I am an artist when it comes to being all parental and caring with kids. My nature, sue me. Even better, find me a kid to adopt.

Find Vin Talented

Almost a week ago I have watched Vin Diesel go to a new level in his acting career, make a new turn in an unexpected direction, plain talent I guess widening the scope of his fans from action fanatics to drama fanatics and we already knew the dude had a hint of comedy, although watching this one I gotta say the man is real hilarious.

This is one of those movies that reminded me of the Godfather in the sense that you watch a gangster, you are supposed logically to hate him but instead you like him and respect him, and you even believe the guy has morals because even with being a criminal he has those virtues that many others miss even if they weren’t from the same crime genre. Ten minutes through the movie and I was laughing my ass off and I knew I will want to watch this movie again in the next few days. The cast was amazing, and mostly funny, Vin Diesel’s acting deserved an eight out of ten.

Endless laughter, moments of sadness, great talents and magnificent acting and a close to 8 IMDb rating, Find Me Guilty is a favorite movie, and one hell of a great recommendation I make to whoever wants to watch something real good.

And No One Believes You Until They Try

A few weeks ago I was doing some work for a real estate company that comes under one of the many entities we have to work with in consultations and auditing and some other special assignments. Anyways I got really pissed at the finance manager/idiot over there, I was asked to stop working on that assignment and someone else started handling it while I was assigned something else.

All that being said, I was already asking for it and wanting it, nothing of all that was less than what I actually wanted, all nice all great, I was asking to be off that assignment for long, I mean come on dealing with ignorant people is one thing, but dealing with ignorance itself and combined with arrogance, now that is something I really can’t take.

Anyways when I got back to the office I was criticized by my manager, actually by everyone for my attitude towards the people over there and was accused of being unable to handle people by a manager who does not know how to handle his very own self when he is angry but well I took it in and let it go. You see I can be calm, given I was told that I am off the assignment before the blame assessment started.

Well since I am posting this on fun trip, there should be a fun twist, here it comes, today my manager got really pissed over the phone at the same guy, the same finance manager and he spoke in rage. I mean come on what kind of idiot asks you for reasons for requiring documents for audit when the audit charter stipulates that as an internal auditor and consultant you have got the right to access any documents at any time you wish. Even better, you are allowed to walk in on any meetings and sit and listen to whatever that is said and even interfere and discuss.

Well I laughed, my manager knew I was laughing at the situation and he said:

“You were right, they are freaks.”

There is no better feeling than that tickle when you hear the words you are right.

Well, given my obsession with Frasier, it is funny when they cut you off radio air just after you say:

“People who know me best will be surprised to know, I am not a man”

That should have been: “I am not a man who betrays his principles.”

Anyhow, this is just another fun drive in the trip. I hope it stays fun; that laugh is what keeps things running good and fine.

Police Brutality

The Egyptian Police و يا سلام على خيبتك يا مصر

Blind Frasier

Frasier hates blind dates and fix-ups.

Now there is that episode in which he feels all restless and the following is a conversation he has with Daphne:

Daphne: Perhaps you have been feeling restless lately because of a lack of female companionship, so I thought…

Frasier: Oh Dear.

Daphne: Just listen, I am meeting my friend Claire for drinks tonight and she’s complained about being restless…

Frasier: Just stop right there, I would know by now that you know my policy on fix-ups.

Daphne: She is pretty, she is lonely and she is an underwear model.

Frasier: So you do know my policy, off we go.

It All Changed

I stood in silence, I stood still, amidst what I felt was ruins, amidst what they called advancement, what they believed was change, what they tried to convince me was the new world that I should cope with and try understand, amidst what I believe was nothing natural. I stood still, in a judging silence of all I saw and heard, amidst the skyscrapers and the speedy cars searching for what is no more anywhere I can see, searching for the truth that used to be, for the life that used to have value, the reality with no artificiality and the events that used altogether to make some sense in this world.

I stood still, searching amidst the noises and in the stores for a record being played, the music of Sinatra, the history that used to be, the women walking in respect and the gentlemen who used to have manners, and searching for the words that were English. I looked for the people who used to live happily, the time that used to pass by as slow as a tortoise and yet give happiness and be felt swift and fast. I searched for the reasonable prices that used to be, the things that I could have purchased with my humble wage and the mobsters who as scary as they seemed used to some how be loved and respected for the morality they partially had.

I stood there and searched for the words gentleman that used to exist, hearing only hip and cool instead, I looked around for when sex was something you don’t discuss with everyone around, for the time when love was the currency of all living things, for when your heart used to bleed in pain for the pain of those you may have never met.

And amidst all my thoughts and dreams of better days that are no more to come the new advanced modern vehicles passed, you cannot cross the street anymore, I remembered when cars had no speed on them, when man was more respected than the machine, when we came first and everything else followed, when we were smart and presidents and kings couldn’t cheat us into believing their shit unless we thought of it, analyzed it and then decided for ourselves if it was logical or not, believable or just pure bullshit and nonsense. I remembered when saying the word bullshit was the rudest of manners.

I stood there, remembering days in which I slept peacefully, happily, safely, feeling that no one will ever harm me, that I could wake up the following day and still find the food I need, the things I wanted to see.

But well things change, no more Sinatra, no more classics, everything is about being hip and all funky…

I guess for people like me death would be the solution, I know I don’t wanna get all pulled in and drowned into this weird unhealthy world I hate and criticize with all my power and ability…

I miss the classics… And the good old life…